The strangest feeling
is looking back when you
always wrote about love
before you knew about love
(before I knew you,
that is, my love)
and you remember everything
you ever thought it would be
like the movies and the books
and you categorize love as this
all-fixing, swallow-you-whole
entity that is like a God,
without the certainty of forgiveness

You imagine it as the after taste
of coffee and the smell of dinner
after a long day and feel it like
warm fires in cold winters,
but in reality it is wild
like the untamed wilderness
and consumes hearts like forests—
breathtaking but horrifying when
you have ventured in too deeply.

Because now I think of you,
darling, and I think of the gripping feeling
when I feel like I’m not doing enough
and the joyous sensation when you
make me feel like I am always enough,
And I think about the tears when we said
goodbye the last time I kissed you
because our love, unlike the books and movies,
is not within walking distance or driving distance,
but thousands of miles apart and sometimes it
is spread so thin; but it is like gold
and glows brilliantly and somehow
it endures without kisses goodnight and
long walks holding hands like
the cheesy romance movies I was raised on.

It does not come softly like
spring breezes, but rather howls in
like a winter gust when
I miss you all at once
and I love you in the autumn colors;
the spectrum of reds: bleeding and passionate.
And then it is quiet like the orchestra of
crickets at night, humming when you are silent.
And then in another moment
loud and raging like the roar of rivers,
screaming, “I am here to knock you off your feet!”

I never expected to love you,
I never expected you to be the unfathomable
person I wrote about, and the person my soul
always dreamed for. I didn’t expect you
to live a thousand miles away, and turn my life
into this hurricane of every emotion engulfing
me until my heart is the sea. And I know
I could drown, but I am somehow swimming.
I didn’t expect love to feel like the most
hopeful hopelessness and love to feel like
your lips, your hands, and your body.

I guess I never expected love to feel so much like you.

By Amanda Katherine Ricketson

- "Love feels like you" by Amanda Katherine Ricketson (via -poetic)

(via krisbeezy)